This post has been a long time coming…here is my journey of reverse dieting. I’m sharing this because it’s not just a body thing. This experience changed my life. So much of my anxiety that revolved around food (some that I wasn’t even aware of) has been alleviated. I travel more freely, I enjoy dinners out more, I love spending dinner at a friend’s house. All of those things were extremely difficult for me even up to last year. Also, I don’t exercise myself to exhaustion. Here is my story:
Sometime last October I started to notice that despite my teaching 5 spin classes per week along with some strength classes, I was GAINING weight. I sort of felt like a failure…I was a personal trainer, a group fitness instructor, and I couldn’t figure out my own issues. It seemed to me that the for the amount I was working out, I was not feeling as fit as I wanted to be. There was so much I knew about health and fitness, but I was only aware of a small piece of the complex puzzle.
Let’s back up a little bit…A year prior, I had lost the weight from baby Liam by following a carb cycling nutrition plan. I started to pay attention to eating whole, one ingredient foods more often, I changed up the quality of carbs I was eating, added in a bunch of veggies and made sure I ate enough protein. Previously, I had been very restrictive with my diet and I had all these self-imposed rules that I followed. I ate very low fat, I had a skewed idea of what healthy eating was, and my protein consisted of just poultry. I was successful with carb cycling and it helped me learn to choose more nutritious foods and diversify my diet a bit. However, the weight loss really had nothing to do with carb cycling. I lost weight because I was eating less, all while breastfeeding, and I started to look skinny, not a good look for me. I had struggled with disordered eating when I was younger and this was, psychologically, not where I wanted to be. I did like carb cycling and the structure it built into my diet and workout routine, but I wasn’t feeling stronger and I didn’t have the energy I needed. Eventually I started to gain weight even though I was still working out just as hard and I really couldn’t be eating less. I needed something but I had NO IDEA what.
I started seeing posts on Instagram about reverse dieting, metabolic adaptation and the effects of tons of cardio with not enough calories. I suspected this was my problem, but I had no idea how to fix it, so I hired a coach to help me. I started my reverse dieting process by tracking food, removing some of the cardio I was doing, and I began strength training in an entirely new way. Slowly, over 6 months, I added more and more calories, paid more attention to my NEAT (non-exercise activity thermogenesis), and lifted heavy weights in a non-circuit style workout. I slowly worked my way up to heavy lifts, with rest and shifted my focus more on performance and progress with those lifts. Did my weight change? Not really. Did my body change? Yup. Did my mindset change? Dramatically.
Eating more is fun, right? That must have been easy. Well, yes but no. I liked caloric bumps because it made me feel that I was successful with the process, and I love food. However, it was exhausting to constantly track and balance my macros, and I wasn’t eating junk. I was eating more vegetables, I was trying new meats, I was finding ways to add in fat that I had NEVER wanted in my diet because it made me anxious. I almost quit a bunch of times because I didn’t like tracking, I felt like sometimes it was too much food, there were days where my workouts were hard and long, and I didn’t want to do another rep. The process worked but not because I was perfect, I was NOT…. but I was consistent. When I needed breaks, I took a short break and came back to it. I pushed when I needed to just wake up and get it done because I started to feel really good and my energy and digestion were better. After a major “why am I doing this moment”, I felt the pieces coming together for me. My metabolism was firing, and I started to see WHY I had to put in so much work. It started to feel less like work as I got more into it. I did really enjoy learning about the process. Living through it, and it was so cool to see what my body was capable of.
I enjoyed seeing strength gains because it was an indicator that I was eating enough to build more muscle. Over time, the scale became less and less important to me. Can I say I don’t care about what I weigh? No. But I live more independently from the scale and I am less emotional about it. I’m still working on it. I feel powerful because I have the knowledge and tools to change up my nutrition and workouts to achieve my goals and be happy and healthy. It’s fun to have more muscle, to feel strong, and to lift really heavy weights. But, the biggest change in my life has been the freedom that in my adult life, I have never truly felt. I don’t have strict rules about what I can or cannot eat. I enjoy eating healthy food, I am not afraid of red meat, or butter, or nuts and oils. I don’t have fears about food at all or about going out to eat, or having dinner at a friend’s house. This changed my life. The mindset. I find myself being more accepting of my flaws and focusing more on the parts of my body that I like. Do I feel awesome all the time? Nope! I am not striving for a perfect body or perfect health, I just want to do the best I can, because I can.
My coach helped me every step of the way on this journey. This is why I wanted to coach, to pay it forward. I have since immersed myself in reading, living and breathing information about metabolism, building muscle, and eating foods that will make me feel my best. I love when my clients lift weight that they never ever would have tried because they are STRONG. I love seeing their faces when they do a really heavy set that they would never have attempted alone. We underestimate our power. We are too hard on ourselves and beat ourselves up for the choices we make. But they are OUR choices to make and we have the freedom to change and to find a balance between discipline and freedom. Too much of anything isn’t benefitting us, our families, or our careers. Often, we just need to be aware there is “too much” in our lives….be it food, rules, exercise, stress, hours in front of a screen, confusing health and fitness information, toxic relationships.
I strive for harmony between discipline and chaos, work and play, being satisfied with myself and recognizing how I want to improve. I still have SO MUCH work to do but I try to recognize how far I’ve come and how it’s benefitting those around me, because we all have a bigger reason why we want to feel better and be better, and it’s more than a perfect physique. When we feel good, we are kinder, we have more energy to make an impact, we are fulfilling our big picture mission.
Do you need some help? Do you want a consult? Would a coach be beneficial for you? Let’s talk! I would love to be a part of your story.
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